We are Britain and we are Better than Silicon Valley because…
… we call our projects Digital Transformation, have Digital Tribes and love getting certifications in different Agile Frameworks delivered by “coaches” feeding you how you should build software. But in the end we don’t really deliver anything groundbreaking. Successful Silicon … Continue reading We are Britain and we are Better than Silicon Valley because…
WTF is Pair Programming?
… some dumbshit “Agile” software development technique where you share a dirty keyboard to type some code and review each line. The programmers usually switch roles unless one starts picking their nose or bites their fingernails which usually ends up with … Continue reading WTF is Pair Programming?
WTF do you need to prefix everything with “Digital”?…
How come only the U.K likes to prefix anything to do with software with the word “Digital”? We have “Digital Transformation”, “Digital Tribes”, etc. How come no one else does this and just gets on with it and builds stuff? … Continue reading WTF do you need to prefix everything with “Digital”?…
Just built a Raspberry Pi. It now does…
… something that sounds like rocket science. Even though I only installed some software off the Internet and didn’t do any soldering. Continue reading Just built a Raspberry Pi. It now does…
Governments who moan for working rights in the “Gig Economy” are dumb…
… fucks. The “Gig Economy” was created for flexible working hours and the majority do not want the extra “benefits”. If you want a “permanent job” go do something else. Don’t try and change things so it works for you, you … Continue reading Governments who moan for working rights in the “Gig Economy” are dumb…
Strategically Placing your Computer Books on your Desk…
… just to show how technically advanced you are in the given subject. Continue reading Strategically Placing your Computer Books on your Desk…
The Majority of I.T Folk you come across in the UK look like…
.. this cunt and they think they are clever by talking about clock speeds. Continue reading The Majority of I.T Folk you come across in the UK look like…
The Importance of walking around with an Open Laptop at Work…
… to feel that your pay grade is higher than it really is. Continue reading The Importance of walking around with an Open Laptop at Work…
“I am a Polyglot Developer…”
… I like to say that because it makes me feel superior. Even though I only know bits of each language. Who gives a shit, everyone nowadays is one and it means jackshit. Continue reading “I am a Polyglot Developer…”
The Role of the Scrum Master is…
… a cheap version of a project manager (they don’t deliver either). Likes to call meetings ‘ceremonies’. It is for the non-technical person to get their foot into the software world by reciting reams of bullshit introduced by some idiots … Continue reading The Role of the Scrum Master is…